- Do your homework beforehand - research the opposition, the topic, and your own team's
blind spots or hangups - so you don't waste anyone's time.
- Identify your priorities, your needs, and your top- & bottomline beforehand so you
are much clearer in your communicating skills.
- Come prepared with all necessary documents and agreements.
- Arrive promptly.
- Maintain the formality/informality set by the meeting chairperson.
- Greet and treat everyone with respect.
- Remember the likeability factor (like likes like). If the opposing side likes you, you
stand a much better chance of achieving your goals within reason. However, don't make that
your primary goal.
- A mind is like a parachute; it must be open to be effective. Listen actively & keep
an open mind rather than deal from a position of entrenched antagonism.
- Keep your emotions in check. The other side will try to make you lose your cool to gain
the controlling edge.
- Don't browbeat, denigrate, or insult the opposing team.
- Deflect rather than respond to personal attacks.
- Don't insist that the opinions and positions of the opposing team are wrong. Suggest
that they look at it from another perspective.
- Don't threaten.
- Cooperate rather than agitate.
- Avoid manipulating because it creates bitterness rather than harmony.
- Don't be greedy; work toward a win-win result.
- don't keep rehashing moot points
- good cop/bad cop
- constant interruptions
- distracting gestures
- attacking the other side and putting them on the defensive
BEHAVIORS THAT DEFEAT PROBLEM SOLVING:
- asking closed rather than open-ended questions
- asking "why" - it can be interpreted as confrontational
- assuming you understood what was meant without paraphrasing
KNOWING WHEN TO EXIT GRACEFULLY:
- when the other side is dishonest, lying, or cheating
- when a problem is impossible to resolve